3ve’s blog…duh!

Hey hey! So long didnt go on9 al’d, so apparently i didnt update my blog for some time now! Hehehe…so, how was Valentine’s day? I guess, it’s a great day for lovers, a kinda-sad day for single’s huh? Hehehe…but doesnt matter! It’s a fun day for frens to hang out together oso!

On tat day, we were so busy making more and more Chocolate roses for sale, of course the price shot up from one stalk RM3 to RM5. Hahaha..still get a lot of business! Guys, thx for being last minute! Help us earn more! Hahaha! Well, some at the end of the day, didnt get their roses at all…em…i wonder wat they did to the extras. Hehehe… 

~CF Valentine’s day booth

Anyways, besides tat, my class oso did somethign fun on tat day..though not everyone followed it, but well…most of us did, hehehe…We pakat on tat day to wear all pink or red…turns out, it was quite nice! Hehhehe!! I had four ‘dates’ tat day!! WAh!! Geng leh? Hahaha…nola! It’s not wat u think! Hahaha…jus frens hanging out together! Hahahaha…lonely ppl like us hav to stick together! Hahaha! (One of them is my cousin!!) Muahahaha!!

Well, except for all the happy happy stuff tat is goin gon…there’s a lot of sad stuff too. One of my closest fren has lost his mother. And i deeply felt for him. I’ve known him since he was standard six, today he’s form 4. We play basketball/captainball together. We yam cha and etc etc ler…He’s such a bright and happy kid! He’s the light of the group. Everytime i feel so welcome to the basketball court coz while choosing players, he’ll definately choose me first, which i think is very encouraging. Coz i’m usually the only girl in the court, yet, he didnt look down on me…which a lot of guys do while playing basketball. He’s a great sportsman…now cruelly, his closest parent has left him. And first time in my life, i’ve seen him cried at his mom’s funeral. He brought all his medals tat he’s won and oso his basketball jerseys and left it in his mom’s casket. Meaning tat he’s burying his memories with his mom. All this while, he’s mom has been supportive of him in everything. Suddenly he lost his purpose of playing sports. i felt so sad….praying tat one day he’ll the light and will coem to believe there’s other reason for him to continue on his passion. (Hey man, always here to support u in any way…stay strong…)

Thought of the day…life can be very short. Dun take it for grated. U’ll never know when u’ll leave this world for sure. U think u will always wake up the other morning? Think again. U’ll never know when’s the last time u close ur eyes. God may call u back anytime, so wat hav u done about it? Live each day as if it’s ur last? No, live life as if God is coming back soon! Wat will u say when one day u r standing at the gates of Heaven, and God asks u, why whould I let u in? Wat will be ur answer? Most important of all, wat hav u done for the Kingdom of God? Would u stand in shame in the presence of the Lord? Or would u recieve a pat on the shoulder and the words: "Well done, good and faithful servant?" from the Master’s lips? Tat would be a ultimate gift from God if u ask me!!

Even before the college reopens, i’m ald’ half dead. Definately not looking forward to starting a hectic life style again. I need a REAL vacation! But i dun see tat coming anytime soon, so, WAT’S NEXT on the list??

Thought of the day….looking forward to a good year? No idea tat a good begining doesnt mean there’s a good ending. I’m sensing my year is a tiny fraction of wat hell is…trapped in darkness but getting burned at the same time. Everything tat is suppose to root u to this world seems to let go of u all of a sudden. The only way to find peace is not to be conscience. Which at this stage means sleeping.  But let’s face it, sleeping only can buy u temporary time-outs rite? And in this case, i dun mind temporary time outs…the more the merrier!

Y do we always do wat we are not suppose to do? Do we do it becoz it offers a short comfort?

sOng Got StuCk

"So Sick" by Ne-yo

Mmmm mmm yeah
Do do do do do do do-do
Ohh Yeah

Gotta change my answering machine
Now that I’m alone
Cuz right now it says that we
Can’t come to the phone
And I know it makes no sense
Cuz you walked out the door
But it’s the only way I hear your voice anymore
(it’s ridiculous)
It’s been months
And for some reason I just
(can’t get over us)
And I’m stronger then this
(enough is enough)
No more walkin round
With my head down
I’m so over being blue
Cryin over you

And I’m so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I’m so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can’t I turn off the radio?

Gotta fix that calender I have
That’s marked July 15th
Because since there’s no more you
There’s no more anniversary
I’m so fed up with my thoughts of you
And your memory
And how every song reminds me
Of what used to be

That’s the reason I’m so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I’m so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can’t I turn off the radio?

(Leave me alone)
Leave me alone
(Stupid love songs)
Dont make me think about her smile
Or having my first child
I’m letting go
Turning off the radio

Cuz I’m so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing she was still here
Said I’m so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can’t I turn off the radio?
(why can’t I turn off the radio?)

Said I’m so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing she was still here
Said I’m so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can’t I turn off the radio?
(why can’t I turn off the radio?)

And I’m so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishin you were still here
Said I’m so sick of love songs so sad and slow
Why can’t I turn off the radio?
(why can’t I turn off the radio?)
Why can’t I turn off the radio?

People people!! CNY is goin to be over soon! FAster go collect ur last ang paus!!! Hahaha…jus kiddin. Yesterday went bai nin with ching yi, man ling, mei yoon, ken heng, jacky, etc etc from sunway. Hehehe..wah! tiring! we started at 2pm and ended at bout 10.30pm. Geng leh? Went to Sunway ppl’s house first then to TSM wan…we learn a new proverbs tat day, it’s called:" Come come go go!" Hahaha…means..er….means…*scratch head* Come come go go lor…literally! Hahaha…means we bring something to the house, the house give us back something. HAhaha…we ended up less mandarin oranges, but more snacks and ang pau! Chinese traditions! The last house was ching yi’s house, we were all quite tired al’d lor…adding to it, Ryan vomitted at man ling’s house becoz the accidently smoke the ‘wrong’ thing. HAhaha…actually, erm, quite bad saying this, but PADAN MUKA! Say al’d dun smoke wan la!! Hehehe..anyways, we visited cching y’s house, then we played twister, trying six ppl in one time. Hahaha…u imagine ler…so tiring! Fater tat, everybody complain here pain there pain! Hahaha..but it was fun!

Then today nth much ler…very super busy. Went bai nin again wit my CG. Hehehe…quite nice to get to visit our member’s house lor…had good fellowship. Then my family went and visited my Babysister’s house. HEhehe…her daughter getting married soon. She’s so pretty! Hehehe…then went back and played Captainball, but too bad it rained. Mom and Dad went out for their separate gathering. Left me alone at home. Luckily got ppl oso wanna go out ler…tot of watching movie. But tickets all sold out. Hehehe…Cham! End up chit-chatting in Starbucks only. When i reach home, it was still empty (Wah…my parents know how to lepak more than me!) Hahaha…And oh ya, we forgot to lock cuddles back into his cage…somehow, everyone tot my dad has brought him out. Hahaa…he hid under the sofa and was quite scared when we pulled him out. I think he did something wrong lar….tat’s y!! hehehe..and guess wat? I was right. He went and wee wee at the wrong place…cis!! My dog! (U think dog year can do wat u wan meh?) Hahaha!!

Thought of the day…em…trying to stay optimistic. But being too optimistic sometimes blurs ur vision and it doesnt prepare u for the worse to happened. And when worse really does happen, it crushes u deeply. The worse pain tat u ever feel are those that come without warning, silent killers. Even a heart without pulse would feel the sting. And those with a pulse would stop beating for that split second. Hav u ever encounter that before? I never knew pain could hav such effect. I know i’ve not been fully healed, not only the scars remain, but occasionally it still aches. I yearn to get rid of that feeling, but it seems the harder i shake, the more tightly it hold on to me. Sweet memories can be so bitter sometimes. Never truly understand y Jesus says tat it is hard to forgive. To me, forgiving someone is not TAT hard. U ponder bout it, then tomolo morning, everything returns to normal rite? WRONG, not now, not this case. Tomolo morning might come and go, but resentment stays in the heart. Now i understand wat Jesus went through jus to forgive us. It is something i couldnt do. Even after uncountable ‘tomolo’s, i still couldnt. My pastor told me once tat forgiving is not forgetting. U will never ever forget someone tat has hurt u, but u can forgive tat person. Forgiving means looking back at wat has happened, but u bear no more pain and tears. I look back at myself, i still bear both, the memories and the tears. And obviously, it’s effecting my life. I cant bear to get another ‘heart attack’ anymore. I’ll be getting a stroke and paralyzed for life. Let’s face it, the ppl we hurt most are the ones tat we love, regardless whether it’s a little or a lot. i hurt ppl, and i get hurt. But now…even the tiniest pain from someone i care about urges me to give up. And i’m forced to live in this kinda situation as long as i still wake up the next morning and bears the weight of the past.