3ve’s blog…duh!

Hey guys…!! Where hav i disappeared to? Hehee…exams jus had a grip on me. And of course soem few other things….hehehe….i cant updated u every singl elthing…btu i’ll try ok? Hehe…well….after exams…we went to watch Happy Feet!! Oh my goodness!! I cant believe how adorable the lil penguins are!!! No kidding….and when they tap dance…u’ll feel like thumping ur feet too!! Hahhaa…penguin stuff toys must be a hit during christmas i bet! Hehhee…lil mumble was so cute…heehhe!! Reminded me to sign up for dance class again!! HAhaha…

Then jus today…i went tp holiday villa to hav hi tea with my classmates and almost the whole a-levels dean…well, not bad for a simple farewell to all who’s leaving…the food was nice oso…maybe coz i was hungry…hm…lwell, anyways..it’s a buffet…so u can imagine how guilty i felt after tat…so i went and play basketball in College after tat!! Hhahaha!! After tat…i was walking to my car…thinking to mysellf…hmmm…"Wat to do after i reach home?" Then amazing as it seemed, the first thing tat came in was "STUDY"…but after a few seconds, i realize i hav nth to study for…then it sank into me…i dun hav to study for A-levels anymore!!!! I was so happy man!! Hahhaa….i think im having post exam syndrome….cant jus let it go!! Hehehhee….but i’m glad…though sometimes i do feel a bit empty inside…like there’s not much of a purpose anymore…hehehe…oh well!!

Oh ya!!I’m not tat kinda person who llie around and do nth rite? So…i’ve set myself out to look for a job during my holidays…and to my surprise, pyramid is gonna open a new pet shop at the old FOS store. So, i called up and had myself an interview…she was a fine lady…i prayed to God tat morning tat His Will be done…i dont want the job to get into the way of me attending church or serving God…so, i applied for it and God really is great….the interviewer said it’ll only take me bout mon-fri if i’m working part time!! wow…though the pay is lower…but i’m willing…she said she’ll be calling me durign the course of the week. Guess wat? She did…jus now…and i’m in for the second interview…hehehe yea! Hopefully it’ll still be God’s will for me….so, i’ll be praying for it again tomolo…

inHey everyone…this is actually an old update…it has been in my mind, and i cant help but to share the happenings of this day to you. But be prepared! This blog is not for the weak and faint hearted. Kids, ensures tat you r under parental advisory…and please…pregnant women are prohibited. For those of you…who r prepared…courage is much needed…becoz…wat is going to be unfold…is not wat u would expect it to be….

It was September 12 2006…a cool but normal tuesday morning…i did not hav classes until 12pm…so i took my time, but was planing to go coll earlier to study. I look at the time…running a lil late…the house was deserted. I grab my stuff and i headed to the car with slightly faster pace. Slam the car door shut, turned the ignition, shifted to reverse gear…lightly tapping on my accelerator…AND THEN…It happened. The knock, the the shriek and the screaming of my tyres breaking. Blood drained from my face as the blood chilling images fill my imagination. Shaking hands on the wheel…no time to waste, there might still be hope! Rush down from my car…faster. I moved behind my car towards the other side…that’s when i saw it…my fingers grew cold…face pale as the morning sky. My legs frozen in place…my heart beating at my throat…"No…no…it cant be happening…!"

TO BE CONTINUED….(got class now)

Ok OK…dun kill me for leaving u guys in suspense! It’s not my fault!! Hahaha…blame it on the finals…okok…i’ll continue! Anyways thanks for those who called me and messaged to make sure everything is ok..

Seriously…i can feel my knees weakening…a tiny pool of blood formed…i stagger forward to hav a better look…i knew it was too late…with each twitch, the pain cut deeper in my heart. i was filled with dread…i couldnt believe i’ve conducted such cruel act…the lil lifeless body lie silent within less than a minute…it’s mom came and tried licking it up she turned and looked at me…eyes filled wit fear and vengence…man!! I’m so sory lil kitty! (Yes yes, Cuddles is still alive and well) it quickly ran away as i moved nearer. There was nth more i can do…i lifted a wood…and moved the body away from under the car…all the time i can feel vomit was almost up my throat. i placed a few newspaper on top of it to cover it…then still filled wit guilt…i HAV to drive to college…sigh! How i reach coll…i hav no idea…but it was a horrible sight.

I came back home and told dad bout it…he didnt say much…jus sighed. Actually..tat said it all. He promised me tat he’ll handle it…he’ll help me bury the lil one tomorrow morning. Dad to the rescue i think…

Hey hey ppl…How u guys doing? Hehehe…thx for all those nice comments you’ve posted, thanks Iggy for the uplifting message, thanks wilson for the kind words and letting me bully u everytime. HAhaha!! Well well, those who know wilson, and to those who dun know oso…hehe, check out his blog! Cool!! But i forgot the address! NOOOo!! Hahaha…promise in the next blog, i’ll linclude his blog address. For those who al’d had it, go check it out!! I’m serious!! One the nicest blog i’ve ever read!! Hehehe…check out the one about EMF (Emergency Medical Facility) Hahaha….It’s nice and darn funny!

Ok ok…let’s get back to my day!! Hehehe…as usual, wat does a A-levels student do except to spend every single free time thinking bout studies??! Ish! Hahaha…so, i shall not mention anything bout tat!! Those who start to even utter the word study to me while i’m trying to forget it shall taste my wrath! Hahah!! Hehe…today  i sat for a maths Test…though it doesnt count for a single mark…it’s designed especially to make u feel bad bout urself…so u can study lmore. I feel so stupid after the test! SUX! Then later in the evening, i went to a surprise party for my RBS fren…Mr. Chung En! Hehehe…we were gathering and tried to surprise him…but apparently, we walked trhough the door wit us shouting SURPRISE! and he had no expression wat so ever coz some smart guy went and msg him and said he cant make it to the party…oh well!! HAhaha…Food was nice…didnt eat anyone up…though some of us did started talking crap after few cups of spiked coke. Hahaha…especially someone who started talking scientifically how ninja turtle is not a turtle but a tortoise…and used my cup to drank…then later which was banned from the drink…but got high on watermelons instead! Sigh! RBS ppl!!

Thought of the day…Well, havent been doing great lately, without mentioning studies crashing around me…it seems like everyday is required a lot from me…feel tired in everyways…but God has remain good…jus tat i’m the one who is getting lazy…and impatient. My face has STRESS written all over it…i mean literally! Pimples growing everywhere! Sigh! BUt Oh well…i’ll try my best, everyday is a new day. And God’s grace and mercies are new everyday!! Heehe…I’m having programmes lined-up for me…trying to squeeze everything in…when i tell ppl i’m not free…somehow i hav a feeling tat they dun really believe me…sigh! Wat to do?

Sometimes…you get hurt…even after long periods of time, when u meet tat person, a gap is always there. And somehow, a part of the pain returns to haunt u…At least for a while. I dun know bout u, but i tend to avoid ppl like tat…sory to say…i prefer to pretend i didnt see u, though i did. Not tat i dun wanna talk to u, but i jus du nknwo wat to say. Such a sad reality. I hope i dun increase the number of these ppl in my life…if not, i’ll die! No matter how well it heals, a cut tat is deep enough leaves a mark, a memory of wat could hav been. I hav no idea y i hav so many scars….some noticeable, some not. But it’s there for a reason, doesnt matter if i realize the meaning of it or not, but as long as i know God has a purpose for it…makes enduring less painful.

Hey hey ppl! Yes yes, i’ve finally updated my blog. Hahaha…sory for leaving it empty these pass days…mainly becoz i was too busy doing stuff for coll, studies and church…u know average busy day. And besides, my bro has been hoggin on to the net. Well, so how is everybody? There’s a few person who al’d asked me why hav i not updated my blog…welll…so sory…and thank you lreading my blog. I appreciate it. : )

Well, if i would hav told u wat happened during the pass month, u would end up with sore eyes, and i’ll end up with sore fingers. Hahaha…so i’m jus gonna give u my highlights. Well…basically many things happened during the pass few days…DMSJ bible quiz was only over the last week and guess wat? SAGC is the champion!! Hahah…Inti CF had a great Rally happening oso!! Hehehe…then there’s oso EMF coming soon…wah!! Hav been practicing many many times…and hav to sacrifice my captain ball time to practice somemore…sad!! Hahaha…but of coursel, i enjoy doing wat i’m suppose to do in the band…though it requires a lot of screeching of my voice. Hahaa…hope this year we can make it through and be the champion oso ler…scared though, coz competition is kinda great!! EMF (Evangelistic Music Fest) come and enjoy @ 26/8/06 Port Klang Goslpel Hall…it’s like Battle of the Bands between churches. Hehehe…contact me if u wanna know more or interested ya!

ThOuGht Of tHe MoNth (Summarized version) em…wah…so lmany things ran through my mind…i’m jus gonna write wat i felt these days k? Well, honestly, these days i’m not doing very good…struggling basicallly wit God. But it’s not very bad la…coz i know il will always wan to honour God. Jus tat…sometimes reluncting to do wat suppose to be done. Sometimes, the fact u see is not the fact God sees it….so…hard to judge based on our own understanding. Sigh…sometimes…i feel like i’ve done something so bad…God is not talking to me anymore…and He’s not listening to me anymore. I cried out to Him…and it seems to bounce right off the ceiling…i’ve been trying to pray hard…lbecoz i feel as if no one is listening to me. Though i know tat’s imposible…but i jus need assurance. So…today i prayed again…and i asked God to pls assure me tat He’s still there to carry me through this rough time…definately, God’s grace is sufficient.  I opened my bible to read.,..it was a familiar passage, but it touched me. It says tat He is the good shepherd, He calls His sheeps by name and He lays down His life for them. Well…i was instantly assured tat how could i doubt Him? He knows me by name, i’m in His flock and He’ll do everything to keep me safe and to rescue me. Even when the wolves comes, He’ll be there to lay down His life for His flock…Sigh…how can God bear wit sinners like us? Sometimes it jus makes me wonder. Doesnt He get tired? Like…we failed Him countless times…and will fail Him countless times again. Wat makes Him stay? Because He is not a hired man, He cares for His flock…lHe loves them deeply, and therefore loves u and me deeply…and u never leave love ones behind. I pray tat i wouldnt stray away from Him…i pray tat i’ll never lose Him, coz i cannot imagine a life without Him in my life…who can i turn to besides Him? Life is al’d hard by itself…without Jesus, it’s jus pointless.

Hey hey! Sory ppl…havent been updating my blog coz my modem was fried…so stuck without the internet!! *sob sob* i hav to do my assignment the OLD way…searching through the library for books and stuff!! Cham! I cant even msn u guys and check my mail…i feel as if i’m outdated al’d!! Hahaha…dun forget to update me k?! Oh ya, those of u tat smsed me…not tat i didnt wanna reply…i ran out of credit and money this month…for some apparent reasons ler…cis cis!! Well, i hope to write more bout myself soon…hehehe…it has been an interesting week! Hehehe…read the newspaper on 18/06/06…find out wat Inti College Subang Jaya has done!! Wow! So proud of my own college! Seriously! Heehehe…glad tat God has placed me and blessed me with such cool college! Muahaha!! Come INTI! Anyways, i’m doing ok…busy practicing for competitions…(they like to put competitions during middle of the year huh?) hehehe…Struggling a bit the part and parcel of life…sigh! But still holding up…so dun worry…had been asking a lot of strength and wisdom from God, and i believe He has been faithful EVERYTIME. Em…tell you guys more when i get the chance…i’m stuck in the library now…using a foreign (slow) computer…hahaha!! But Inti still rocks!!!  Muahaha! I gtg!! PEACE OUT COOL DUDES!

Hey hey…today as i opened my blog and read all the comments some of u hav been giving me…i’m seriously touched and deeply encouraged to continue to write testimonies in my blog. Thank you…u all hav been truly a blessing to me. : ) So…let’s get down to today’s blog!! Hahhaha!!

Today woke up feeling weird…u knwo the feeling like u got up at the wrong side of bed? Ya, exactly like tat…not only am i sleepy…but i am totally clear tat i hav a stack of organic chemistry notes waiting at the foot of my bed…which…shall i say not TOO enthusiatic to read. So…reluctantly..i pried myself off the bed…(practically rolled off it) and headed towards the bathroom. No one was at home…except for a slumber bro. Meaning…no breakfast. Sigh!! Wat a morning to wake up to! I forced myself to study at least wat i’m suppose to finish. Somehow i jus feel pressured and stressed out.

For the weirdest reason, i picked up a book from my rack…"stomping out depression" It’s a book i hav laying around…for pass reasons…but havent quite finished it yet…coz i found tat the bible is a better cure! Anyways, I started to read where i stopped decades ago. And i was jus so amazed at how God provides guidance in different places. There’s a story bout this lil boy who was bought out of slavery and brought to live wit a rich man. He stared in awe at the huge mansion he was brought to. He stepped in, and his new father welcomed him warmly. He found out tat other adopted children oso lived there. They made frens and he was extremely grateful for the great buffet tat was prepared. He ate the glorious food and was happy…but when he turned around, he accidently pushed a tray of crystal jug glasses off the table…it came crashing to the floor into millions of tiny pieces. Dread fell over him…how is he gonna get out of this mess? Definately he will be sent away from the house. The first thing he did was to hide…and he ran towards the basement. He opened the door and decended below…it was dark and damp…but he found other children down there oso. Hiding away…they didnt talk to each other, becoz they were too ashamed. He found himself a corner and balled himself up…many other children were there. Some attempted to climb the stairs back into the bright light. But soon overwhelmed by the guilt and shame…"my slave master was right…i dun deserve all this wonderful things, i belong in this dark basement…tat’s all i deserve." To survive, they ate the green moss tat grew on the walls…some children may shout out encouraging words from up above…but some made it worse by condemning them. Each of them had their own story about wat they had done wrong.

Then one day…he started thinking…"Why not i jus throw myself at my adoption father? I mean…wat do i hav to lose? Even if he asked me to eat the crumbs from the dining table, it’ll be better than this." So he decided he’ll climb the stairs toface his father with the truth. " Father, i knocked over some glasses and broke the pitcher." The father without a word took him by hand in to the dining room. To his utter amazement, a grand banquet laid before him. " Welcome home son, there is no condemnation for those who are in my family!"

Sometimes we are jus like tat lil boy…hiding from our Father whenever we did something wrong. Unknown to us tat our Father al’d knew we are going to break that crystal pitcher. Where can we hide from His eyes? Do u hav any idea how far he would go searching for you if ever u were lost? Sometimes, it’s hard for us to face Him wit the truth. But wat do we hav to lose? Why stay under the basement and eat moss while He has al’d set a banquet before you? Honestly…when i read tat…whoever is in His family is not comdemned, tears flowed. Coz i was feeling stupid…how could i missed tat He is right beside me? He’ll find me…no matter how far He has to look for me, and wit opened arms He’ll carry me back…unfailing love…who in this world can give this kind of love?

Hey hey…the day has finally arrive where i hav to suffer through endless hours of traffic jam to get to a place tat causes even more headaches and heavy drowsiness…sigh! but today as the first day is not as bad la…many ppl were present…new and old faces. First hour of bio class…we hav to draw 10 diagrams al’d…wow! A-levels…amazing huh? Hahaha…hav to draw male and female reproductive system… *sweat*. Hahahaha…at least not TAT boring!! ; P Hehehe…

Oh ya, caught a movie while i was roaming 1 utama on sunday wit my church pals…hehehe…"Hills hav eyes"…Wow…one of the bloodiest movie i’ve ever seen…and super brutal. Summary is tat there are these mutated ppl tat stays in the desert which used to be goverment experimental ground for nuclear bombs. They hate ppl who trespasses their ground and kill them as food…All in all, not a very good one, would not watch " Hills hav Eyes Too". Except for gun shot heads, hacked body parts, mutilated corpses, disfigured ppl…nth much bout it. And as all scary movie goes…there’s always a ‘next generation’ left behind… Wilson was whining and cringing almost throughout the show…Man Ling and Ah Keong were either hitting him to stop, or hitting him to scare him…Hahaa! David wonder when the show would end…same goes for me…Hahaha! Quite a pointless movie ler…

Thought Of the day…Em…so far, i’ve read all of Dan Brown’s books…well…for those who dun know bout Dan Brown, he is the author of the famous Da Vinci Code novel tat is selling hot every now…the movie is comin up on May…Before all of u Christians out there condemn me…i’m not promoting the Da Vinci Code here…or rather, if u wanna know more, join CF…hahaha! We are doing a study bout the truth and fiction of the book…

OKok, getting back to MY thought of the day…hehehe..it’s not bout the famous Da Vinci Code, but bout another book, Angels and Demons…i came across this passage, and i tell u..the strangest places God can speak to u! Hahhaa…basically, the passage is bout this Swiss Guard, Chartrand walking wit the camerlengo (A person who temporarily carries ou the duties of the ex-pope before the new pope is elected) Chatrand did not understand the ‘omnipotent-benevolent’ thing tat is proclaim bout God. Meaning how can a God,  proclaim to be all-powerful and well-meaning, not stop starvation, war, sickness…tat is happening to ppl everyday? Quoted :"Terrible things happen inthis world. Human tragedy seems like proof that God could not possibly be both all-powerful and well-meaning. If He loves us and has the power to change our situations, He would prevent our pain, wouldnt He?" Sounds familiar? How many of u hav asked this b4? I did…honestly, more than once. How do u answer such a crushing question?

Well..the ‘camerlengo’ answered this (Quoted) :" Imagine u hav a 8 yrs old son, would u love him?"

"Of course"

"Would you do everything in your power to prevent pain his life?"

"Of course"

"Would you let him skateboard?"

" Yea…i guess…Sure, i’d let him skateboard, but i’d tell him to be careful."

" So, as this child’s father, you would give him some basic, good advice and then let him go off and make his own mistakes?"

"I wouldn’t run behind him and mollycoddle him if tat’s wat u mean."

"But wat if he fell and skinned his knee?"

"He would learn to be more careful."

"So, although you hav the power to interfere and prevent your child’s pain, you would choose to show your love by letting him learn his own lessons?"

" Of course, pain is a part of growin up. It’s how we learn"

"Exactly."

~The purposes of today’s event may not be seen until tommorow…walk everyday not by sight but by faith, let God’s vision be your vision…

i Hahahhaa…How many of u still believe tat miracles do happen? I am for one believe in miracle. I believe that God still moves His hands against the norm of the world for the sake of something special to happen. Hhehehe…Today i woke up feeling a bit dreadful, partly becoz it was quite early, and partly becoz i got the whole semester 2 chemistry book laying on my bedroom floor waiting for me to flip through it’s dreadful pages…but most of all, today was the day tat my results are coming out…(Now u feel the pain dun cha??!)

I studied half of wat i was suppose to study and was wondering i should step out, drive my car all the way there to look at the terrible paper tat ‘almost’ hav the power to determine my future in Inti Subang Jaya….i decided tat i’ll jus hav to go. If not, my imagination will somehow spread like a deadly virus in my brain cells and somehow eliminate all my sanity! Hehehe…anyways, i was ‘told’ by God yesterday i cant hide from my problems…i cant jus cuddle up in my cosy bed in front of the tv wit a large bucket of ice cream…and forget bout the world. So, i picked up the courageand stepped out. I was listening to Desperation on the rooftops album, playing was the song "I’ll Be ok" and i prayed…Somwhow, there was a lot of cars at that area at a unlikely time. I had a hard time looking for a parking space…finally, after the second round of trying, i prayed for a parking space, and i tell you, God is definately Great! The car i front of my pulled out of a parking space fairly near to the college. I was strongly encouraged. To cut the story short, i went in, took a deep breath, and saw my results…well…er…not exactly excellent though! : P But i was definately happy to maintain my scholarship! Yahoo!! Heheheh…later i catch the movie ice age 2 with a fren, it was hilarious! Hehehe…need to put laughter into mmy study life sometimes! Hehehe….

Here is a song tat i adore…hope tat u’ll love it too…

Amazed

You dance over me

When i was unaware

You sing all around

But i never hear a sound

Lord i’m amazed by You (X3)

How you love me

How wide

How deep

How great is Your love for me…

~Indeed we hav a Great God looking over us everytime…

aHey hey! How r u guys lately? Hehehe…Eve has been busy preparing for CF camp lately, so didnt update as frequent al’d…anyways, jus wanna thank all those tat were at the camp! Everything went great, thank GOD!! Hehehe…praise Him! All His working, i’m not joking! Well, special thanks to the guys during ladies and gentleman nite! You guys really impressed us girls, and treated us like princesses! Hahaha…especially the synchronized swimming! Hahaha! Great experience in the camp la…never imagine planning a camp could be so complicated! Learnt a lot there! Hehehe…

Well, jus wanted to update some recent incidents tat happened to me…Em…one nite i was cuddling up in my blanket and suddenly i felt a sudden pain on my right elbow, i was awaken by it, and had a look at it. Through my blurry vision, i could not see anything, and went back into dreamland…HAha! A few hours later i think…hehehe, bout 8am, i was still cuddling my dear Giant Patrick, with my blanket in between. Jus like the pain i felt earlier, it shot up my hands which were crossed in front of me. This time i jolted up, and had a better look…but still, again. i couldnt spot anything unusual, no bruise, no bite…nth! Then i lifted my blanket which were pulled up my chin…and guess wat? *deep breath* Dun wan u to faint…hahaha! It was an inch long black and white caterpillar looking back at me on my chest…ya, no kidding!!! Tat lil fela stung me twice during the whole nite! It was standing up by the time i reveal it! Goodness!! still gives me goosebumps! HAhaha…my instinct wa to remove it from my tee asap!!! Hahaha…i flick it on my bed, i stared at it’s twisting and wriggling body for quite sometime. Thinking whether to kill it or not…but i decided against it, coz it may be a beautiful butterfly one day…so, i tear a corner of the newspaper and carried it downstairs and released it! Fuuuu!! Wat a experience! Hahaha!! I actually hugged it to sleep for the whole nite!! Hhahahah!!

Thought of the day…hav u had anyone coming to u and ask..:"Why is God doing this to me?" Well, i’m not denying, i’ve asked this question b4. Maybe a lil too many times…but i’ve learn what it means. Ok, to tell u something personal, my bro is having some serious problems now…my mom (a non-christian) came up to me one day and asked me:" Well, girl, why do u think God is doing this to ur brother? Dunno whether this is His will or not?" I’m not surprised tat question came…but can u actuallly blame God for wat u hav done? Can u rob a bank or tell a lie, and say tat God ‘made’ you do it? Even you know u did wrong, and know it urself, dun be afraid to admit, God will always…and i repeat, ALWAYS forgive u!! But sometimes after confessing, we still go through the consequences, but guess wat? It’s not becoz God didnt forgiv you, but this is the fruit of your doing…u reap wat u sow! Sometimes, we jus blame God for the things we go through…but through it all, God says tat He only discipline those tat are HIs….u know wat it means? Means…if u go through hardship, u r God’s child!! Funny and hard to believe? BELIEVE it! He only trains you up becoz He wants u to be a better person! Though it’s painful…but assured that God knows ur limit, He wont stress you beyond tat! Isn’t God great?! If u r not feeling any stress being a Christian, something’s not rite!! Be encouraged bros and sis, dun let all these pain and fear get you down, coz Jesus didnt die so that we would be losers! He suffered for us, so we can be conquerers! Praise Him!! ^_^